Reaching You
by Yamada Umeko
Summary: Fuuko vowed to stop thinking about him and finally stop torturing herself, yet she couldn't seem to stop. ToFuu


**A/N: After a very long break of not writing any fanfictions, I'm finally back with another one. It's another oneshot with some ToFuu goodness, but be warned, this one has some angst mixed into the story. So if you have nothing better to do, read on, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

**Oh, and thanks to all those who reviewed my first FoR fanfic! It really meant a lot to me. You guys are the best!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Flame of Recca or any of its characters.**

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**Reaching You**

Stepping out of the Hanabishi residence where the rest of the former Hokage team was partying, I looked out towards the night sky. A cool breeze blew and embraced me, as if comforting me. I love the feeling of being outside, alone, with the wind caressing me as I look at the beauty of the moon. The moon is shining brightly tonight, lighting up the sky and reminding me of you.

Mikagami Tokiya. You light up my life, yet you are always out of my reach. You're so near, yet so far. Just like the moon.

I realized a long time ago that I am in an endless maze, with you at the end of it. I run and run, trying to reach the end of the maze, trying to reach you, but I never could. I call out your name with every step I take, but my voice never reaches you. Will it ever reach you? Will _I_ ever reach you?

I know I should stop, but I can't, for the life of me, bring myself to. My mind is screaming at me to stop torturing myself, to just _stop_, and yet my heart carries on, still hoping. Hoping that maybe you would see me, even though it's breaking every time I see you having eyes only for her.

If it didn't hurt so much, I would have laughed at myself. No one, not even me, would have thought that I, Kirisawa Fuuko, the tomboy who loves beating men up, would ever fall in love. And with you, no less. I bet Cupid just wanted to have a laugh. I mean, who wouldn't find the thought of a butt-kicking tomboy falling in love with a drop-dead handsome guy amusing? And to top it all off, the guy is already in love with someone else! Hilarious!

I sighed. It's not like me to sound all bitter, but I guess I can't help myself, just like when I couldn't stop my heart from falling in love with you.

What did you do to make me love you? You aren't nice and thoughtful, nor are you endearing. Hell, you don't even talk much! You are a cold, egocentric, arrogant hermit who doesn't care about anyone but yourself! Except her, of course…

But you did something to me, I know it! I know it isn't just your pretty face—though it is an added bonus—coz I know myself and I'm not like other girls who fall in love with appearances. What did you do to me? What did you do to make me fall so helplessly in love with you that I can't even bring myself to stop thinking about you?

I snickered. I bet Domon would like to know too. How did you, an ice block, manage to do it?

Ah, forget it. It's not really important anyway. The important question is why I still love you despite the way you've broken my heart. Every time you choose to ignore me in favor of her, every time you look at her as if she was a fragile little thing you would love to take care of, every time you _smile_ at her…every single time you do those things, my heart shatters. And yet the next day, all you have to do is look at me, and my heart is mended. Then you go and break it all over again.

Why am I still hoping? Why am I still holding on? What am I doing to myself?

I guess I am stupid.

I can almost see you smirking at me, saying, "Have you finally figured that out?"

The nerve! Sure you're smart, handsome, and damn perfect! But how dare you mock me?! How dare you break my heart, when all it ever did was love you?!

"Ugh," I ground out, exasperated. I'm doing it again! I'm torturing myself, thinking about you when all you ever think about is her!

I'd love to beat my heart up, if I could. What was it thinking, falling in love with you? The only time you would fall in love with me is when…well, never!!

I dropped my head into my hands. I'm hopeless.

Well, this is all going to stop now. This will be the last time you're going to break my heart. I'm going to stop thinking about you, stop hoping, and stop trying to reach you. I'm going to stop running in this stupid, endless maze, and then my heart will finally heal. Then you and her will be together—a perfect, happy couple. Everybody happy, right?

An image of a grinning Recca flashed in my head. Oh, right, the idiot's in love with her. What'll happen to him if you two got together?

Well, Recca can just follow my example, and live with it! Besides, us 'monkeys' as you call us, will never be fit to be with you humans. Recca's strong, he'll get over her. He'll just have to find another hime to protect, since obviously, you'll be the one protecting her from then on.

_Now_, everybody's happy.

I will live my life as I used to, with the exception of Ganko now being a part of the Kirisawa family. We will be a big, happy family. And _I_ will be happy. No more sleepless nights thinking of you. No more pain tearing my heart apart when I see your normally stoic face light up at the sight of her. No more tears falling when I see you looking at her, and I realize that you'll never look at me like that—your eyes soft, and with all the tenderness in the world. No more…

"Do you hear me?!?" I shouted at the moon, "I'm going to forget about you and be happy!!"

I took a deep breath and smiled. It felt great to vent all my frustrations out, without having to face the consequences. I'm all alone here, and they're still making loud noises so no one could have heard—

"Have you finally lost your mind, monkey?"

I tensed at the sound of that _very_ familiar voice. Dreading the worst, I slowly turned around…

Why doesn't the earth swallow me up when I need it to?

There you stood, in all your handsome glory; the man that had been plaguing my mind both in good and bad ways. And as usual, you were being your cold, arrogant self. "Or is being able to talk to the moon an inherent ability in monkeys?"

With a vein pulsing in my forehead, I spat out, "Shut up, ice block," I really wasn't in the mood to be talking to the very person I'm trying to forget, even if it was a chance to irritate you.

You raised an elegant eyebrow but didn't say anything.

I crossed my arms and turned away. Great, just when I thought I could be alone at last, _you_ came.

Silence reigned between the two of us. I briefly wondered if the others were looking for me. They probably were. And you were just being your anti-social self and were trying to get away from the party. Typical.

A cold gust of wind suddenly blew and I shivered. Damn, I knew I should've brought my sweater with me! Mom's gonna give me a lengthy sermon if I get a cold when she insisted that I bring it with me. Oh man…

An object landed on my head and I looked up, surprised. Taking it off me, I inspected the object. It was a jacket.

"Take it, you're cold,"

I whipped around to look at you, then back at the jacket. I gaped at it, unable to believe that you would actually give me your jacket. You! The ice block! Are you suddenly having a heart?

I could imagine your eyes rolling when you stated dryly, "Jackets are supposed to be worn, not stared at, idiot,"

I looked at you one more time, and saw you walking back into the house. I was feeling like the idiot you said I was, but I couldn't help myself gawking at the piece of clothing again. Did a miracle just happen?

Still in shock, I followed your advice and wore the jacket you threw at me. It was warm, and when I inhaled, I breathed in your scent. I could feel my heartbeat pick up speed, and I knew that you did it again. Just as I took back my heart to prevent it from breaking, you came and stole it away for the second time.

And now I'm back in the endless maze that I've vowed to leave a short while ago. It's as if I had caught a glimpse of you just when I was willing to give up running, and believing that the end of the maze was near, that _you_ were near, I have started running again with renewed vigor. I have started calling for you again, reaching for you.

My heart has another reason to hope, to hold on, and to believe that someday, I will reach you.

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**A/N:** **So, what do you guys think? Good? Bad? Drop me a line! Feedback is extremely appreciated, and constructive criticisms are very welcome. Flames, on the other hand, will be ignored.**

**If I made any of the characters OOC, I apologize. Thank you for sparing this fic your time and effort reading, and I do hope you enjoyed it. Belated Merry Christmas and advanced Happy New Year!**

**Ciao!**

**Yamada Umeko**


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